Lactation Graduation

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

One of the hardest things for me during the last few months has been the total helplessness that I have felt.  I don’t do helpless well.  Yes, Rowan has made tremendous strides, but none of them felt like I was really a requirement.  A team of OBs bought him that extra two weeks in utero, a team of neonatologists and nurses helped him thrive in the hospital.  I have felt like a bystander through most of his first few months.  It felt like everything was being done to us.

But this accomplishment is mine.  I absolutely could not have done it without the help and support of so many people, but ultimately I was the one who made the decision to stick this out.  And while I would never judge those who made different choices in this situation, I knew it was what I needed to do.  I have no doubt that some people thought I should have thrown in the towel long ago and just gotten some sleep.  I thank those people for staying quiet 🙂

What I’m getting at is that Rowan can officially nurse on demand with no bottle requirements!  We’ll still give him at least one bottle a day, just for my sanity and to keep him familiar with the bottle for when I go back to work next month.

I’ve had so many cheerleaders in this, and I thank each of you.  From my friends, to the various healthcare professionals, and especially to my WBWC IBCLC.  I feel like I’m giving an acceptance speech.  Can I get some sort of lactation endurance award?  A trophy?  A beer?

Today Rowan got two ounces with little effort on our part, and in a short amount of time.  He’s nursing at night now, too, which was the last major hold out.

Emotionally this is huge.  This has helped ease that helpless feeling, that feeling like any number of people have raised my kid with little need for me to even be involved.  I love them for doing that, but I haven’t loved the fact that it had to be that way.

There is still a lot of emotional fallout from his birth and first few months, but at least the future looks bright.  Finally.

And just for fun, here was Lorelei and me from five years ago today

(I just noticed that in all three of those pictures my sleeves have buttons.  What’s that all about?)