Totalifail – The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Naive College Students
What do white supremacists and a total solar eclipse have in common? My weekend involved both, though neither happened quite as rumored/planned.
keeping it real
Where is My Mother of the Year Award?
Every so often, Lorelei asks to dye her hair. And all those so oftens, I say “sure!” Because… why not?
There’s Only One Option: I’m Going to Have to Burn My House Down
I no longer know when one illness begins and another ends. In the last month I had a cold, Zach, Rowan, and I have all had a stomach bug, Lorelei had a high fever, both kids got pink eye, Rowan had an ear infection, Rowan got another stomach bug, Zach got pink eye, Lorelei threw up, and this morning Zach and I both woke up with sore throats.
Taking Out the Laundry
Remember how I wrote that “The Dishes Can Wait and Other Lies” essay? And how I put it up on HuffPost and people who must have had an unfortunate accident as a child that removed both their sarcasm gland and sense of humor took me way too literally and seriously? The best was that they went both extremes. Some took it to mean that my house was a complete disaster all of the time, and that there were ants everywhere, because all I did was take the “they’re only young once” advice to heart. And then some people were sure that my house was perfectly clean, because I was shunning that advice entirely.
Double Double Toil and Trouble
This morning Lorelei decided to make “potions.” She informed me that she would be needing soap, water, and salt. Okay. And food coloring. Whoa, wait a minute. I draw the line at food coloring. Until I’d already helped her once and she asked again, and after all she did say please. My counter will be tie dyed for a while.
A Bunch of Crap, Both Literal and Figurative
Hi. I’m new here.
That’s the only explanation I can find for why I had no baby wipes in my car; okay, that’s an exaggeration, I had two wipes and they were both dry. I went to get Rowan out of his seat and he was sitting in a pile of poop. All over his seat, his legs, and his clothes. Did I mention I was standing in the street outside of Lorelei’s school? Because yeah.
To that mom
To the mom who…
has laundry baskets full of all the random shit that collects around the house. Toys, hair bows, single socks.