Endings
It always feels like the winter solstice and the lengthening of the days should mean the end of winter, not the beginning.
grief
Binders Full of Grief
I’ve been thinking about all the ways grief sneaks into our lives. How it isn’t just an emotion relegated to death of loved ones.
My Therapist is Leaving
After all of those conversations about my fear that she would leave and trying to believe she really wasn’t going anywhere — my therapist is leaving.When we had those conversations, she didn’t know she would be leaving anytime soon. Intellectually, I know that. Emotionally, it is a lot more complicated.
The Potential Energy of What Could Have Been
I’m a sucker for ceremony.
I know, it surprises me too. I’m the kid who almost got suspended in high school for holding up sarcastic signs during a pep rally; I don’t seem like the type to cry over Pomp and Circumstance. Alas, give me heartfelt speeches and slideshows of memories and I will show you what it looks like to stoically attempt to pull back tears before they spill over. When my sister graduated from UNC, I cried during an a cappella version of Carolina in My Mind.
It Makes You Stronger, or so They Keep Telling Me
When I woke up the morning of March 28, 2018, I knew it was the day my life would irrevocably change.
The Ghosts of Christmas Past and The Grief in Christmas Present
I get a lot of sympathetic head tilts when I mention working on Christmas Eve or the days between Christmas and New Year. I think some judge the adultiness of a job by things like not going to work for two weeks at the end of the year. I appear to have the job of a real adult, so nobody thinks that maybe I’d rather save my vacation time for summer when it’s nice outside. In all honesty, I love this week at work. It’s so quiet. The expectations are low. I can wear jeans and eat leftovers and nobody asks me for things, unless it’s to eat this piece of cake. This is the week when I organize my office or rearrange the file room.