after the birth
Dear Yai Yai,
This has, without a doubt, been the craziest year of your life, at least from my perspective. That whole being born thing may have seemed crazier from yours.
Prematurity
“Farewell to the old me”
I just realized how inexplicably sad I am for a past version of myself. I look at the pictures of me pregnant and just think, “You. You have no idea.” I want a time turner or a TARDIS so I can go cross my own timeline and tell that version of myself that it is all going to be okay. Excruciating at times, but ultimately okay. I’d like a future version to come confirm that, come to think of it.
“Hey doc, how’s about a refill”
Today was appointment day (a lot of days are appointment days).
First, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. While my therapist and pretty much everyone else have agreed that I’m handling things very well considering the circumstances, I’m still overwhelmed and having some days of major anxiety. The last few months have been long and hard and more than a bit terrifying. I’m already on Zoloft for seasonal affective disorder/anxiety (which should come as a surprise to exactly no one, though I’m sure my mom’s dialing finger is itching right now), so we agreed it would hurt nothing to bump it up a bit. Obviously a lot is situational, but there is no need to suffer just for the sake of suffering.
Picture post
And just as a reminder of where we began: