April Comes She Will
Who the eff thought leap year was a good idea?
“You know Julius, we really need to get an extra day in every four years or so.”
Mental Health
Loving and Fearing Success
This week. Three repubs on Huffington Post. An original post on Scary Mommy. Scary Mommy also picked up one of the Huffington Post essays. I got a syndication offer. Thousands upon thousands of likes, comments, and shares.
Huffpost and Lies from the 30 minute kitchen – Suck it, Rachael Ray
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Today has been weird. I woke up this morning to find that my OCD essay had been published by Huffington Post. I’ve spent the day in a fog of confusion about how I should feel about this. Excited! Like a fraud! Excited! What if everyone realizes I suck?! Excited! Hiding in a corner!
Into the scary woods
I’ve spent an enormous amount of mental energy forging routes around fear; taking the long way to avoid those scary woods. It’s an exhausting and isolated path, full of its own obstacles and lacking a GPS signal. My way was studded with compulsion and hidden distress, holding myself responsible for outcomes and creating imaginary control where I had none. I hid it well, which only served to make the road more desolate.
Hell’s Jenga
Kindergarten stresses me out. I don’t think it is supposed to do that. But as I pull paper after crumpled paper from Lorelei’s bookbag I can feel myself wanting to shove it all under the couch and run far, far away. 100 days projects. Boxtops. A million pieces of school work. Worksheets. Books for her to read. Newsletters. Fliers for programs and meetings and groups. Snack calendars. Fundraisers. -a-thons. Drives. As my brain is trying to prioritize this, it spirals into fear that I did not remember to do that thing. Some thing. I don’t know what thing. But there’s always a thing.