I See Myself Digging This Hole I’m Standing In
I know it seems like I have it all together.
I can’t even keep a straight face while I write that.
Mental Health
Beginnings
I’m just about done with 2022. I mean, technically, we are all just about done with it, but I’m dramatically and metaphorically done with it.
Binders Full of Grief
I’ve been thinking about all the ways grief sneaks into our lives. How it isn’t just an emotion relegated to death of loved ones.
My Therapist is Leaving
After all of those conversations about my fear that she would leave and trying to believe she really wasn’t going anywhere — my therapist is leaving.When we had those conversations, she didn’t know she would be leaving anytime soon. Intellectually, I know that. Emotionally, it is a lot more complicated.
My Own Worst Enemy
I’m sitting at my favorite probably-wont-get-covid-here bar-with-a-couch, ostensibly writing my next piece for ADDitude magazine.
What I Think the Therapeutic Relationship is Trying to Tell Me
I have recurring therapy dreams where I go to an appointment and other people are in the room during what should be my time. I’m angry because she should know better. I’m hurt that she doesn’t care enough about me to give me one hour of her life. During the dream, I feel a twisting countdown as I watch the clock, hyperaware of every passing second that I won’t get back. I want to express my feelings but feel helpless to do so. There’s even part of me that feels relief to have one of my deepest fears confirmed. To not have to worry about it anymore.