Saturday Satire: Mother Actually Given Those Three Extra Hours in a Day – Watches Gilmore Girls

Durham, North Carolina — After years of having her prayers go unanswered, local mother Ruby Grace was the lucky recipient of three extra hours last Thursday. She woke to a day with 27 hours, rather than the more standard 24 and looked forward to an opportunity to finally get her shit together.  

“I feel so hashtag blessed to be given such an amazing gift,” she said, “At last! A few extra hours in a day for me to accomplish so much! I could work on writing my screenplay or tackle some home improvement projects that have been on the back burner.”

As the harried mother of two searched Pinterest for ways to organize her linen closet she saw an ad for the upcoming Gilmore Girls reunion.

“Suddenly I really needed to see that episode where Lorelai and Rory make that one literary reference that I totally got,” she explained. “I figured I had three extra hours, I deserved to spend at least one of them relaxing in Stars Hollow.”

Grace was discovered eight hours later arguing with the television, “She was surrounded by Poptarts and Pizza and babbling incoherently about team Jess,” said her concerned best friend, Carolyn Shinerman.

At press time it was unclear whether the additional hours were provided by the Lord or a Timelord, but Grace is keeping her fingers crossed for a few more bonus hours so that she can check out Fuller House.