April Comes She Will

Who the eff thought leap year was a good idea?

“You know Julius, we really need to get an extra day in every four years or so.”

“Well, you’re righteo there Gregory. But when?”

“February is short, maybe nobody will notice.”

Julius and Gregory can go to hell.

It’s still February and I am trying so hard to hide from life. To ignore the chaos and dirt and white knuckle it until spring. Grip the safety bar and hold on tight.

I go to bed by 9pm. And yeah, I’m exhausted because children, but I also can’t see the mess from the inside of my eyelids. I take baths in the dark for similar reasons. It all overloads my brain, so I close my eyes and turn out the lights.

But here is the thing about hiding from life, especially when you have kids… It keeps demanding attention. Your sweet kid threatens to punch someone in the face – at school. The baby screams from the pain of teeth ripping through gums. The bathroom mirror breaks and Mt Laundry seems to be producing seismic activity.

I can ignore the things, but I can’t ignore the beings. But oh how tempting it is to just crawl under the duvet and not come out until April. Except the cat peed on the duvet.

I don’t know how to deal with a plate that keeps getting piled higher and higher with food I don’t like. I sneak as much to the dog as I can, but life seems to be an Italian grandmother telling me to eat more.

I need to catch my breath. I want some fucking dessert.

But tomorrow… tomorrow will be March.