Nights are long

7:30pm – Put Rowan in the swing.  Turn it to level three, turn on the music, turn on the lights and mobile, stand on one leg, wish on a star, and sell my soul in hopes he will actually fall asleep.

8:00pm – Get Lorelei into bed, try not to fall asleep while snuggling.

8:10pm – Employ questionable parenting skills and/or mean mom voice to get her to stay in bed without waking her brother.

9:00pm – Rowan wakes up.  Is hangry.

9:05pm – Rush around trying to get ready for bed before he reaches defcon 1.

9:10pm – Nurse him.  Gaze at his tiny fingers and fluttering eyelids.  Contemplate loving every moment of this mothering thing because time is so fleeting.  Just kidding.  I just hope he keeps those eyelids shut for a few hours.

9:15pm –  Try to put him in the swing.  He screams because the swing does not have breasts.  Nurse him some more.

9:25pm – Swing success!

9:30pm – I go to bed.  Though I don’t know why I bother.

11:00pm – He wakes up and I bring him into bed with me and nurse him.  Am freezing because I have to keep the blanket away from him and he spit up on my last clean long-sleeve pajama shirt.

12:15am – Milk now mom please.

12:25am – Nipple falls out of his mouth and he thrashes around.  Never mind that he wasn’t actively nursing, he just likes knowing it’s an option.

12:30am – Put a paci in his mouth.  He screams.  Will accept no substitutions.

1:00am – Squirt meows desperately at the door.

2:15am – Claws desperately at my chest (Rowan, not Squirt).  In his sleep.

3:00am – I wake up.  For no real reason.  Brain just thought it might be fun.

3:15am – Just as I get back to sleep brain suddenly needs to know FOR SURE that Rowan is still breathing.

4:00am – Nurse nurse nurse.

4:30am – Lorelei asks to cuddle.  I end up sandwiched between the two of them, unable to move.  She does provide me with some much needed back support.

5:15am – Nurse the baby.  Put him in the swing.  Can’t find the other buckle.  Oh dear god, it is underneath him.  Try to decide if the gentle extraction of buckle is better than the get it quick method.  Say a silent prayer that he doesn’t wake up.  Whew.

6:15am – Alarm goes off.

1:30pm – Take nap in my office chair.