“Farewell to the old me”

I just realized how inexplicably sad I am for a past version of myself. I look at the pictures of me pregnant and just think, “You. You have no idea.”  I want a time turner or a TARDIS so I can go cross my own timeline and tell that version of myself that it is all going to be okay. Excruciating at times, but ultimately okay. I’d like a future version to come confirm that, come to think of it.

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the boob, the boob, the boob is on fire

I was going to write about how much better the day to day has gotten. But then I woke up this morning in extreme pain, followed by chills and a feverish feeling. I could feel the plugged duct causing the mastitis. I must have gotten it unplugged because when rowan nursed he was having to swallow so fast that I was scared he would choke. And then I pumped 3oz from that side alone.   This morning I had the telltale red streaks radiating out. 

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Lactation Graduation

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

One of the hardest things for me during the last few months has been the total helplessness that I have felt.  I don’t do helpless well.  Yes, Rowan has made tremendous strides, but none of them felt like I was really a requirement.  A team of OBs bought him that extra two weeks in utero, a team of neonatologists and nurses helped him thrive in the hospital.  I have felt like a bystander through most of his first few months.  It felt like everything was being done to us.

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