I go back to work in just over one week. I feel like I should be okay with it. I was prepared to be okay with it. The teachers at this school are like family. I trust them to love my children.
Today was appointment day (a lot of days are appointment days).
First, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. While my therapist and pretty much everyone else have agreed that I’m handling things very well considering the circumstances, I’m still overwhelmed and having some days of major anxiety. The last few months have been long and hard and more than a bit terrifying. I’m already on Zoloft for seasonal affective disorder/anxiety (which should come as a surprise to exactly no one, though I’m sure my mom’s dialing finger is itching right now), so we agreed it would hurt nothing to bump it up a bit. Obviously a lot is situational, but there is no need to suffer just for the sake of suffering.
I’m a little reluctant to publish this. I fear you will think I am depressed. I’m not. Truly. Pinkie promise. I am many things, not all of them are good, but that sounds reminiscent of the situation itself.
Two month stats:
7 pounds, 1.5 oz
Head circumference: 36cm
He’s still not on the regular WHO charts, but he is moving on up the preemie charts. He’s had a huge jump in weight and head circumference. A more modest, on the same track, increase in length He got his two month vaccines.
Rowan has broken the six pound mark! That means he is over twice his lowest weight, and well on his way to twice his birth weight (I’d say by next week he’ll hit that milestone). It’s crazy to look at this teeny guy and realize he is two times bigger than something.
I really want to keep everyone updated. Really. But most days I don’t even sit down at my computer. When Rowan is asleep I either sleep or clean or prepare bottles or pump. And the rest of the time I’m nursing, or pumping, or going to appointments.
Just some random bits and pieces.
The nurses and doctors are all impressed at his nursing ability. One of the doctors mentioned twice that he had a latch score of ten. I just assumed she was just saying that as an expression. But evidently that is an actual scoring system. And preemies don’t usually get tens. His latch really is great. I think that his latch is better at one month (negative 3.5 weeks adjusted) that Lorelei’s was… ever. Though, I’m basing this partly on my lack of pain, and since I’m only nursing him twice a day it really isn’t a fair comparison.