And This is Why I Need Therapy: A Horror Story

6:15am: My alarm goes off.

I slowly and carefully extract myself from the bed, careful not to wake the toddler who has almost certainly ended up velcroed to my nipple at some point in the night. I tiptoe out of the room, stepping gingerly over the sleeping dog, who is blessedly deaf and does not notice what she does not feel.

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Glitter is Upset by Your Herpes Comparisons

Lorelei has taken to dumping glitter on her head on a semi-regular basis. I don’t mean a cute little glitter shower, I mean a freaking glitter deluge. She had a friend over this weekend and they took turns filling a cap with glitter and pouring it on each other. Her mom used a lice comb to get some of it out of the friend’s hair. I… just left it. A beautiful gold layer of shine is coating my floors. By that night I looked like I had the glitterpox.

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Double Double Toil and Trouble

This morning Lorelei decided to make “potions.” She informed me that she would be needing soap, water, and salt. Okay. And food coloring. Whoa, wait a minute. I draw the line at food coloring. Until I’d already helped her once and she asked again, and after all she did say please. My counter will be tie dyed for a while.

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A Bunch of Crap, Both Literal and Figurative

Hi. I’m new here.

That’s the only explanation I can find for why I had no baby wipes in my car; okay, that’s an exaggeration, I had two wipes and they were both dry. I went to get Rowan out of his seat and he was sitting in a pile of poop. All over his seat, his legs, and his clothes. Did I mention I was standing in the street outside of Lorelei’s school? Because yeah.

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Keeping it real

We have plenty of beds in our house.  Lorelei’s room has a twin-over-full bunk bed, our bedroom has a king-size bed and crib, plus we have couches and a futon.  For the last week I have been sleeping with Rowan in the recliner, because we were both getting more sleep that way.  Lorelei, never one to sleep in a room by herself, decided to join us.  Then Squirt joined in.  It was a regular recliner party.  Maya was probably just under the foot of the recliner sulking.

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