Don’t Cry Over Weaned Milk

And it’s done. Rowan is officially weaned. I want to exclaim how my boobs are mine again, yay! But he seems to think my nipples are some sort of button? They’re his version of a fidget spinner. His security blanket. And omg, I’m about to crawl out of my skin.

But the weaning itself was smooth. He’s asked a few times, and I’ve just said, “we left the mommy milk in Charleston, remember?” and he wanders off to destroy things and create general havoc.

rowan nursing
The first milk, and the last milk

It’s a weird feeling, this being done. With Lorelei, I’m sure it was bittersweet, but there was the theoretical future child. Now it’s over, forever, this whole stage of life. With the exception of 2013, I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding at some point during every calendar year since 2009.

And of course, there is the whole preemie aspect. Isn’t there always, when it comes to Rowan? It was such a long and difficult road, and only by the grace of luck, support, and a lot of determination did we make it through. It could have gone either way, so I never wanted to take it for granted.

He is such a snuggly little dude, though. While I am nostalgic for those early moments nursing my children, I actually really didn’t enjoy nursing a toddler 75% of the time. I’m happy to replace the nipple twiddling, shirt pulling, and biting with “I want snuggle, mommy!”

It was a tough decision to wean him during cold/flu/RSV season. And of course, yesterday I get a call from daycare that he had a fever. Luckily, it seems to be teething related. Last night he tossed and turned, planking on my chest, and occasionally crying, “ouchie mommy! Hurts!” When I asked him what hurt he said “mouth hurt” and stuck my finger in his mouth to chew on it. I can’t help but think evolution should have come up with something better than teething, by now.

I’m glad he wasn’t too sick, because today was his first snow day as a kid old enough to care. We were supposed to get a few flurries, but got a very quick inch or two, instead. Since none of it melted, the roads were too slick for school today (or tomorrow). I’m sad to say goodbye to my vacation days, but I got to watch the kids play, and get some organization done at home.

snow day rowan

Of course, now he has moved from the ottoman to my chest, which is making this blog post difficult. Also, he has absolutely refused to take off his coat or his snow pants all day, and he’s sweaty and stinky, but if I wake him up he’ll scream for an hour. If I let him sleep, tonight will suck. But tonight is going to suck either way, if recent history is any indication. I’d like to eat dinner at some point….

rowan as a table
This is basically the same position he was in all night last night, but imagine me flat on my back with his chin in my trachea

Lorelei is big enough to go play outside by herself. She was really missing our former neighbors, while she was out there. Their daughter was about her age and they played together every snow. Luckily, she did ok out on her own, which was blissful, as I had no desire to stand out in the freezing cold all day. She spent her time building a very sad snowman and making snow castles and angels.

snow day lorelei

I’m trying to enjoy this unexpected long weekend, though I would really rather use my vacation time for something actually resembling a vacation. I suppose I will have to settle for having the time to turn Rowan’s old bedroom back into my office. No toys allowed.

In the meantime, can someone send me dinner via drone into this new office? It looks like I’m going to be trapped here for a while.

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