There are a million reasons to hate Valentine’s day. Expectations run high, parenting energy runs low. Restaurants are overbooked and babysitters are hard to come by. It has become a Hallmark holiday. Single people have their face rubbed in their singleness. Etc, etc, and on and on. I never really cared much one way or another. Now that I’m a mom I have found it to be another exhausting holiday and one that happens to come right on the heels of the 100th day of school. It shows up just as we have recovered from the winter holidays. And we don’t even get a day off work.
School Valentine’s Cards (Giving)
First, your kid will want the most complicated cards available. Insert this into that and fold it into an origami swan or some shit. By first grade, it seems expected that kids will write their own cards. There is nothing more soul sucking than watching a six-year-old try to write out 23 cards after insisting on using a pen instead of a pencil. And speaking of pencils — please tell me someone else has a million unsharpened pencils in their house, leftover from Valentine’s past.
School Valentine’s Cards (Receiving)
Approximately 92803920583463780483 cards full of terrible puns and you can not throw a single one away.
Six packages of Fun Dip, 47 Tootsie pops, 372 Hershey Kisses, and 92835 random lollipops. I’m not opposed to junk food. I’ve had
three four pieces of chocolate today and it’s only 10 am. But having a bag of candy in my house is like a shining beacon of tantrums – and don’t think I can sneak it out or eat it myself – she will know. She always knows.
Are parents supposed to attend? If I don’t go will she be the only kid who does not have a parent around? Before they get sent home with a bag full of cards with attached lollipops, they get to eat cupcakes and conversation hearts. I’m the mom that sends cheese sticks because omg eat some protein before you throw up on your friends. I am not sure if I feel worse for me or for the teachers.
Will she get her feelings hurt? What if she hurts someone else? Everyone else got four bags of jellybeans and she only got three. I remember the feeling of watching a student delivering lollipops ordered earlier in the week and knowing there was not going to be one for me unless I bought it. Alas, hope springs eternal and there was always this little part of me that hoped maybe someone bought me one, while another part of me knew I would die of embarrassment if so. It is a day not built for socially awkward kids. Or adults.
Yeah, this is all whiny and petty. Rowan screamed randomly for what seemed like 12 hours last night, though since he started at 4am I assume it was closer to an hour. Still, I’m too tired to deal with this.
Tomorrow, however, I will tell you how Lorelei’s school saved Valentine’s day.