Thanksgiving Vomit and a Last-Minute Gift Idea

 

kinderperfect

Planning vacations or… anything… has become a game of Germ Roulette. Mostly it is Rowan who is our vector of plague, but the rest of us like to chip in and do our part from time to time. I’m pretty sure I have a sinus infection but I didn’t think that would preclude Thanksgiving activities. It originated from a cold that Rowan gave me, so I thought we were pretty safe.

Around 5am Thanksgiving morning, Lorelei tiptoed into our room. She had already come in a couple of hours earlier asking for water. This time I heard the patter of her feet, followed by the words, “Mommy, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

My mind was instantly awake, trying to suss out the seriousness of her statement. When Lorelei says she is going to throw up she almost always proceeds to do so. I was trapped under a sleeping Rowan and fairly sure if I ripped my boob out of his mouth and my arm from under his head that he was going to wake up. At 5am there was no guarantee he would get back to sleep. So I tried my only other option, kindly telling Lorelei to get the hell to the toilet while also trying to get Zach to wake up and help her.

None of this was even remotely successful, as she then puked all over my bedroom floor — repeatedly. She said she had eaten too much sugar the night before. While that’s possible, I was not convinced too much sugar would result in her waking from her sleep and puking on my floor at 5am.

Zach cleaned up while I tried to extricate myself from Rowan. I helped Lorelei clean herself up, and joined her in her bed to snuggle. That is something no one tells you about parenting — that you will voluntarily put yourself in the direct path of a potential stomach bug in order to comfort your child.

Around 6:30am Rowan woke up and Zach deposited him in bed with Lorelei and me and went. back. to. sleep. I get that sleeping people do irrational things sometimes, but I can promise that there will be restitution and payback for that.

Upon waking, Lorelei appeared to feel just fine. I spoke with my family and we all agreed if she still felt fine at 8am we would head to my parents’ house, 2.5 hours away.

1.5 hours into the trip Lorelei woke up and said, “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” Luckily, Zach had made me grab a couple of grocery bags, just in case. He got it to her just in time. My mom said we should just go ahead and go to their house. Evidently, throwing yourself in the path of a stomach virus extends to grandchildren, as well.

And… that was it. She never said she felt bad and she never threw up again. Mystery vomit. So far, nobody else has gotten sick, either.

Rowan spent the weekend trying to give himself a concussion by pulling my mom’s childhood rocking chair to the center of the room and rocking himself back and forth until the chair tipped. That thing would totally be recalled if it was made today.

 

So after a successful Thanksgiving with only mild puking and no concussions (but four burned fingers for my mother, due to grilled cheese chef user error), we headed to Friendsgiving with some of our closest friends.

More stuffing ourselves silly and a lot of children running around like small banshees. An earlier, better parent, version of myself was shaking my head as we got Lorelei a Happy Meal on the way, because otherwise, she would only eat a roll and some fruit. And honestly? Because she really wanted one and I couldn’t deal with the screaming. So rather than give in and let her get her way after dealing with a tantrum, I decided to just forego the meltdown and say yes after only a little whining. So yes, my child was sitting at a Thanksgiving party full of delicious food eating chicken nuggets. Old me was way more judgmental.

Here comes some sponsored content. Though, by sponsored I only mean that I got a free copy of the game. And I’m using my affiliate link because I’d be stupid not to.

A while back, the maker of the game KinderPerfect sent me a copy to review.

The package they sent included a hand drawn card from their daughters, which Lorelei claimed immediately as her own. It says you need 4+ players, so I had been carrying the game around with me off and on ever since. Because of the aforementioned Germ Roulette, we have not been going out and hanging with friends as often as I would like. Saturday night I pulled it out as I sat on the couch with my friends, Charlotte and Tina. We decided to give it a try with three people. Have I mentioned that I am a reluctant player of games? I always have fun once I’m into it, but getting me to actually play a game is a challenge in and of itself.

This game was hysterical. I was expecting something much more PG but the double entendre possibilities are pretty much limitless.  I’ve never played Cards Against Humanity before (see: reluctant game player), but now I want to! These cards are interchangeable with Cards Against Humanity.

It worked with three players, sitting on the couch, not letting our kids hear what we were saying. But it would be sort of amazing if you had a bigger group, no kids, and some alcohol.

Here are some of the possible combinations. Some of my other favorite cards include, “placenta smoothie” and “inappropriate lactation.”

 

 

Here is there website, so you can check them out for yourself. They are a kickstarted funded, family-owned business with a wicked sense of humor.

So, if you like fun you should probably order a set. Unless you hate your friends. Or hate laughing. Then you should maybe not.

 

 

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