Saturday Satire: Local Mother Breastfeeds in Public — Nobody Notices

Local Mother Breastfeeds in Public — Nobody Notices










Durham, NC – Nursing mother Ruby Grace was recently not seen nursing her one-year-old son in a local department store.

“We were in the seasonal department when little Arlo got fussy, so I sat down on a lawn chair and nursed him,” said the shocked mother. “I thought for sure someone would at least give me some side eye. I spent the whole time perfecting my return glare.”

Store patron Blaire Robinson had just left Victoria’s Secret when she didn’t stumble upon Grace and her son. “Really? She just popped her boob out and fed her son in the store for all to see? I didn’t notice, but if I had I would have definitely given her a disgusted look,” said Robinson, “It’s ridiculous to force us to possibly maybe catch a glimpse of her nipples.”

When asked about the non-incident, store manager and porn aficionado Cody Walters said, “They’re boobs. They feed babies. Who the hell cares?”

Grace was last not seen nursing Arlo in the produce aisle of her local grocery store while eyeing the melons with hostility.

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