Double Double Toil and Trouble

This morning Lorelei decided to make “potions.” She informed me that she would be needing soap, water, and salt. Okay. And food coloring. Whoa, wait a minute. I draw the line at food coloring. Until I’d already helped her once and she asked again, and after all she did say please. My counter will be tie dyed for a while.

Unfortunately none of those potions seem to have been for everlasting cleanliness, or even a draught of less whining. Hell, I’d take a elixer of automatic laundry. But no, this potion was a soapy mess of mucky water and azalea flowers. Creating it involved a mesh strainer, a ladle, and for some inexplicable reason, my spiralizer.

This afternoon Lorelei and a friend decided to paint using my acrylics and I let them because I’m tired and what I couldn’t see couldn’t hurt me.


Eventually they gave up on painting and took the dog brushes into Lorelei’s bedroom to “give Maya a makeover.” So sweet!


A few minutes later Zach peaked his head in to check on them and I heard him say, “why does it smell like nail polish in here?” I immediately knew why; Maya is going to have nail polish in her toe fur for the rest of her life. Also, at some point she had traipsed through the acrylic paints and was leaving green paw prints all over the floor. The hardwood. The tile floor that I mopped just this morning.

This is why I don’t bother mopping.

Somehow, despite spending the morning cleaning I have ended up pretty much where I began, except now with more fun colors!

acrylic paw print
I’ll call it a decoration
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5 Comments on "Double Double Toil and Trouble"

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Erica Esser
OMG…this is totally about my almost-5-year-old daughter, Leah! She loves to make potions! Water, soap, salt, flower petals, etc. And painting! And messes all over the house. And things stuck to the floor that the mom can’t get off. And mopping is so overrated. I can’t believe how often I read something you wrote and think you and I must share a brain and live the exact same life! Except, luckily for you, you are much better at writing (and being sarcastic and funny) than I am. And my husband’s name is also Zack. And my son’s name is Owen,… Read more »
Dharma in Heels

This is why I never allowed my child to have any fun. Ever. It wasn’t worth to permanent stain. Thank god he only likes violent video games now. The only permanently damaged thing will be his brain, and not my wood floors. Winning.


I spend many a day dreaming of my empty nest and of a cleanliness that I can be certain will remain so! I think you and I have matching hardwood ????

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