Huffpost and Lies from the 30 minute kitchen – Suck it, Rachael Ray

*The post contains affiliate links


Today has been weird. I woke up this morning to find that my OCD essay had been published by Huffington Post. I’ve spent the day in a fog of confusion about how I should feel about this. Excited! Like a fraud! Excited! What if everyone realizes I suck?! Excited! Hiding in a corner!

We had tornado warnings all afternoon, complete with hanging in the hallway away from windows. I cannot help but notice the hilarious irony of tornado warnings on the day my OCD essay was republished. While I was pumping during the tornado warning – a new experience all its own – I got an email alerting me that the Hemp Milk and Ovaltine essay had also been published by Huffington Post .

I’m not even sure what to do with this information. My brain has short circuited from all of the feelings today has attacked me with.


I needed something easy for dinner. Not Rachael Ray’s annoyingly finicky definition of easy, but anxious mother of two children who has an overloaded brain easy.

30ish Minute Mediocre Vegetable Soup

The first thing you need is an Instant Pot. You can totally do this in a crock pot or on the stove, but the Instant Pot is the part that makes it so stupidly easy.

Then you need some hard-to-find ingredients, such as:

Two bags of frozen veggies; whatever is least freezer burned
A big can of pureed tomatoes
One onion, chopped
Some garlic from a jar in your fridge
A little can of tomato paste
Some water (1:1 water/tomatoes).

I sauteed the onions in the Instant Pot  and then dumped all of the rest of the ingredients in. Salted to taste.

I set it to “soup” for five minutes.

Then after a few minutes I was sure that it wasn’t working, so I released the pressure and accidentally set myself back ten minutes. Patience is not my virtue. Once it was actually done, I released the pressure for real, added some balsamic, and… finished.

So it took closer to 45 minutes, but the majority of that was spent not paying attention to my food at all.  I nursed the baby. Put my feet up. I’d say maybe 10 minutes of active time.

The results?  Every bit as good as any other vegetable soup made with canned tomatoes. Mediocre – but EASILY mediocre! Much like Rachael Ray*!

I’m not big on putting a lot of affiliate links in my posts, but I’m making an exception for the Instant Pot because I freaking *love* this thing. I’ve used it several times a week since Christmas. If you’re feeling fancy there is one that also makes yogurt, and one that has bluetooth… for some reason. It’s like a bunch of kitchen tools struck a deal with the devil and had a baby. I can cook a whole freaking chicken in like half an hour. Quinoa in just a few minutes.

If that slippery slope the republicans fear ever comes to fruition I am totally marrying this thing. We will have a lovely ceremony, and the groom’s side will do all of the cooking.

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(I really have nothing against Rachael Ray)

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