1. unwise or imprudent
It would be ill-advised to go skating in the middle of the night with a thousand adults drinking beer.

There are a surprising number of people in the greater Triangle area who want to pay $12 to go out well past turn-into-a-pumpkin time to attempt skating while wearing costumes, drinking beer, and listening to disco.  Most of these people can’t skate.  Major props to the older guy wearing a full psychedelic body suit, because quite a few people seemed to be confusing disco with the 80s, and one guy was dressed up as an Angler fish.
I mean, what could go wrong?

The place was packed. At least two people took their beers onto the floor itself, where they promptly fell, splashing beer all over the place.

My entire life thus far has been leading up to this moment.

I regularly bump into doorways and furniture when stone-cold sober, but put skates on me?  Even several beers in and I am more than capable.  Ehrrr, theoretically, of course I never tested this theory in college, obviously. I’ve been skating for almost 30 years and falling isn’t something I do. Except for the time that I decided to skate down my friend’s very steep mountain driveway.  That, folks, is ill-advised.

So of course, I fell.  A guy skated in front of me, tripped on my skate, and we both went down. Quitters know when to quit. And for this quitter that was at 12:30am after falling directly on my ass. The line to rent skates was still stretched halfway around the building, so things were not trending upward.

Anyhow.  I think I broke my butt. I asked Facebook how you can tell if your tailbone is broken vs bruised and they very unhelpfully told me that you can’t. At least not without an x-ray, and it doesn’t matter because there is nothing you can do but suffer.

Y’all, it’s 2016 and I have a disco-related injury.

And I sort of can’t wait to do it again.

     Is this like wearing a band’s t-shirt to the show?



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