Life

All in

11025799_10153176879569846_8323493189452458099_n_FotorI don’t do things a little bit.  I don’t eat “just this one little bite” of the cake, I eat the whole damn cake.  I don’t draw tiny flowers on paper, I make them out of fan blades and bike tires.  I go all in, or I don’t go at all.

The problem is that I get ahead of myself, and then I freak the frack out. I love the heady feeling of throwing myself into big projects, of making proclamations of the things I am going to do.  Sometimes just the planning is what I’m after, and sometimes I follow through.  Sometimes I drive 600 miles with a four year old on a whim.

It strikes out of nowhere, this insatiable need to do all the things.  I am playing on the computer, and somebody’s offhand comment ends with me researching vacation ideas for next week.  Zach is painfully familiar with emails that begin, “So I think I want to….”

I always want to be actively planning … something.  Anything, really.  Planning, but not preparing. No time for things like measuring (which is why both carpentry and sewing tend to fail me).  Right now it’s writing.  I have spreadsheets, and idea lists, and all the makings of a big freak out as I realize I’ve stepped too far, gone too big.  Expectations are my Kryptonite.

My lack of preparing means that sometimes I don’t even know how I end up where I am.  All this to say that, despite my constant instance that everyone who likes my writing is delusional at best, I have been writing for money for the last two months.  And this week I learned that one of my rowan.small.and.mighty posts will be republished (with my adaptations for a wider audience) by Scary Mommy on New Year’s Eve.

What. The…

All. In.

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Rhiannon Giles

Rhiannon Giles is a freelance writer from Durham, North Carolina. She interweaves poignancy and humor to cover topics ranging from prematurity to parenting and mental health. Her work has been featured on sites such as The New York Times, Washington Post, Parents, Scary Mommy, McSweeney's, and HuffPost. You can find her being consistently inconsistent on her blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

One thought on “All in

  • Lynda

    Well, that is so cool!

    Reply

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